I wanted to write a long essay
about The Dark Knight and #20: The Dark Knight Rises. I would talk about
how they’re the only Batman movies which directly confront the inherently messy
contradictions of Batman the character and how those contradictions are
emblematic of America itself. Both have a bloody and messy origin story, crave stability, but never accept it. Both believe in law and order but are willing to go outside
the lines, as needed. Both believe in the People, but also the Individual. Both hold out certain ideals as unassailable, knowing
full well those ideals are unattainable, but worth holding onto nonetheless.
But instead of writing a long essay, I wrote this paragraph. Isn’t that better?
(Also, I really do have a job.
And two kids.)
Anyway, maybe we need a few
hundred more viewings of each, to really get our thoughts together. In the
meantime, yeah, they’re good.
Final Verdict: KEEPER! Also, here’s a rundown of our
first 20 (yes, 20 already!) verdicts (links to past reviews on the right):
NO.
TITLE
VERDICT
1
Ace Ventura
KEEP
2
Adaptation
KEEP
3
Adventures of
Babysitting
KEEP
4
Air Force One
PITCH
5
In the Line of Fire
PITCH
6
Aliens
KEEP
7
Amelie
KEEP
8
American Beauty
PITCH
9
Anchorman
KEEP
10
Austin Powers:
International Man of Mystery
PITCH
11
Austin Powers: The
Spy Who Shagged Me
PITCH
12
Austin Powers in
Goldmember
PITCH
13
Marvel’s The
Avengers
KEEP
14
Alien
KEEP
15
The Aviator
PITCH
16
Batman
KEEP
17
Batman Returns
KEEP
18
Batman Begins
KEEP
19
The Dark Knight
KEEP
20
The Dark Knight
Rises
KEEP
I'm admittedly a bit terrified that we've already watched twenty movies and have barely cracked the B's. This is gonna take a while. NEXT UP: BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE! More KEATON!
I'm going to hold off my thoughts on Christopher Nolan's masterpiece, The Dark Knight,* until we watch its counterpart, The Dark Knight Rises. Needless to say, both are keepers. But I want to consider them together in one mega-post. In the mean time, I think the late great Heath Ledger said it best as the Joker:
*(You may have noticed a slight deviation from strict alphabetical order in the last few posts. Chronology trumps alphabet-ology for the time being.)
Confession: I have never read Batman: Year One (trivia! Darren Aronofsky, he of Black Swan fame, was at one point supposed to direct an adaptation of that book). Thus, I have no idea how much our eighteenth film, Batman Begins, differs from Frank Miller's version of how Bruce Wayne came to be Batman. I apologize, Constant Reader. This review will therefore be lacking in comic nerdom.
But anyway. How did Batman become Batman? Yeah, we all know his parents got shot in front of him and that's enough to piss anyone enough to turn them into a borderline psychotic crimefighter, but still, you got to get all those wonderful toys somewhere, right? And the know-how to use 'em?
Ken Watanabe as Ra's al Ghul
#18: Batman Begins
Christopher Nolan gives us a terrific answer: the League of Shadows. Run by Ra's al Ghul (fans of Batman the Animated Series will sorely be disappointed by no Lazarus Pits!) and his trusty second-hand Ducard (Liam Neeson), the League pulls Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) out of a hellhole of an Asian prison and sends him on quest for a special blue flower. Having obtained that flower, Wayne is permitted to train with the League of Shadows, learn how to be (essentially) a ninja vigilante, acknowledge and master his fear, and begin to appreciate the value of theatricality. Without spoiling anything (but really, who am I spoiling it for?), Wayne grows disenchanted with the League of Shadows ethos, returns to Gotham, "borrows" some very useful prototypes which would otherwise be gathering dust at Wayne Enterpries, and adopts the visage of his greatest fear to become the Batman. Battling first ordinary criminals like gangster Carmine Falcone (Tom Wilkinson (an inspired bit of out-of-left-field casting)), Batman is soon confronted with literal insanity in the form of the Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy):
You wanna see my mask?
Not without its funny moments, but lacking much of the humor of Burton's duology (that's like trilogy but with only two, right?), Batman Begins is undoubtedly a grimmer take on the Batman legacy. In many respects, its more horror than action film, which is thematically coherent with the central idea of fear as driving force in the life of our protoganist and the city he loves. For your run-of-the-mill viewer Scarecrow and Ra's al Ghul aren't at the top of the rogue's gallery of Batman's villians, but they make perfect sense with the theme and ideas Nolan is playing with here. (Not to mention the central role both will play in Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy.)
Although Bale is no Keaton (or as I call him, MICHAEL F'IN' KEATON), his sullen, humorless-unless-its-for-show Wayne (admittedly) makes more character sense, especially with the mood and atmosphere Nolan is going for. (Or "for which Nolan is going," for the grammar sticklers). He's capably supported by Michael Caine (Alfred), Morgan Freeman (Lucius Fox), and man-of-many-faces Gary Oldman (Gordon). (I'm forbidden by hometown loyalty to comment on fellow Toledoan Katie Holmes' performance, but let's just say Maggie Gyllenhaal).
I'd say more, but I'd rather watch our next movie: THE DARK KNIGHT.
Following an opening prologue featuring a cameo by Mr. P.W. Herman himself (Paul Reubens), Batman Returns truly begins some time after the events of Batman. Vicky Vale's out of the picture (Keaton mumbles something about her being able to handle the two sides of his life or something) and Bruce Wayne is back to business as usual: billionaire eccentric playboy by day, gadget-obsessed vigilante by night. That is until the Penguin (DeVito) and his Red Triangle Gang of circus freaks spoil the Gotham City treelighting ceremony presided over by power-hungry rich dude, Max Schreck (Walken). Meanwhile, Schreck's hairbrained assistant, Selina Kyle (Pfeiffer) gets a bit too curious and finds herself on the wrong side of a third story window - resusciated by a pack of alley cates, Kyle turns into Catwoman and millions of 13 year old boys would never be the same. Long story short, Batman finds himself squaring off with all three: the Penguin, Catwoman, and Schreck. Due to her, uh-hum, animal magnetism, Catwoman proves the toughest to get rid of.
Batman Returns is a dizzy freakhouse of movie. The performances are overboard across the board, with the exception of the subtle Keaton (have I mentioned that I love Micheal Keaton?), who manages to make the titular character the straight man/audience surrogate. But the breadth of the characterization matches the bigness of the material. Burton and screenwriter Daniel Waters (Heathers, Hudson Hawk, Demolition Man are his other well-known credits) introduce some bizarre and, as far as I know, original touches to these iconic characters: flipper hands, a sewer residence, and a diet of raw fish for the Penguin; the aforementioned cat resusciation and supernatural nine lives for Catwoman. (DC comics readers - that stuff was new, right? but some of it has become canonical?) Also, Walken's Max Schreck has no comics lineage and was invented out of whole cloth - Back to the Future hair and superthick pinstripe suits and all. Despite the outlandish characters and the complexity of the plot(s), Burton keeps the carousel spinning smoothly.
Also, its set at Christmas. Which makes it one of my favorite type of films: the non-Christmas Christmas movie. See also, Sneakers and Die Hard.
Oh, yes. And there's Walken. A little Walken goes a long way. A lot Waken goes even longer.
Final verdict: KEEPER.
Next up: As much as I love Val Kilmer and George Clooney, we skip the missteps that were Batman Forever and Batman & Robin and move right along to BATMAN BEGINS!
Truth: The Joker is such a weird character that it can safely be said that Jack Nicholson in Batman and Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight perfectly encapsulate the character despite their vastly different interpretations of the role. I know its not fashionable to champion Jack Nicholson's scenery-chewing performance, but what is the Joker but a scenery-chewer?
Whichever performance you prefer (and you can like both! I do!), you gotta admit that Nicholson has the better of the one-liners. Consider the following:
[Doing a terrible Jack Palance impression]: "You [deep wheezy breath] are my number one [deep wheezy breath] guy-ya!"
"Decent people shouldn't live here. They'd be happier someplace else."
"As my plastic surgeon always
said: if you gotta go, go with a smile."
"Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
"You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, wouldya?"
"Where does he get those wonderful toys?"
And last but not least:
"This town needs an enema!"
Really. Compared to "Why so serious?" and um...what else? Nicholson clearly wins in the one-liner department.
Dispensing with much in the way of set-up (guessing he knew Christopher Nolan would tackle that later), Tim Burton plunges us right into a stylized 1989 Gotham City that looks a lot like the 1950's did in Back to the Future. Michael Keaton (the underrated Michael Keaton! the brilliant Michael Keaton! the perfectly poised for a massive comeback Michael Keaton!) (hint: I like Michael Keaton) plays Bruce Wayne with a perfectly smirking mixture of socially awkward playboy and bad-ass vigilante charm. The movie finds Batman confronted with a new, unstable menace to his beloved Gotham City and his new flame, the photographer Vicky Vale (Kim Basinger) in the form of the Joker (Nicholson). Also, Robert Wuhl, the poor man's Albert Brooks, amuses as Vale's besotted writer partner, Alexander Knox. And Billy Dee Williams! as Harvey Dent!
He should just always wear this, because I don't see any other costume on him, ever.
God. It would've been awesome to see his Two-Face. Sigh.
Burton's Batman is not a deeply incisive yet ambiguous commentary on American culture and the impulse for vengeance. It does not ground its comic book source material into a modern reality. It is not timeless. It is not an IMPORTANT FILM.*
But it's a great movie. My only complaints: (1) Commissioner Gordon is basically a non-character; (2) Batman tries to kill the Joker with bullets and missiles fired from his Bat-plane (Batman is firmly anti-gun (gun-grabber!) because his aim is to catch bad guys, not to kill them); and (3) Batman actually does kill the Joker at the end [(a) again, Batman doesn't try to kill bad guys, he catches them and (b) no more Nicholson! (sad face)].
Final verdict: KEEPER!
Next up: BATMAN RETURNS!
[*Caveat: Hard as it is to believe, at the time, this movie was way darker
than any previous comic book movie and yet hugely successful, which
changed minds about what a "comic book movie" could be and look like. Without Batman, it's arguable that none of the modern comic book movies we hold dear would have been greenlighted (sic?) (greenlit?). Unfortunately, it also gave Tim Burton free reign to not edit himself
for the next twenty years (cough Dark Shadows cough). So it is important
in those senses.]
[HUSBAND and WIFE start The Avengers DVD on a Saturday night].
WIFE: The Avengers! Yes.
HUSBAND: Yeah.
WIFE: What's after this?
HUSBAND: The Aviator.
WIFE: Ugh.
[Silence. Samuel L. Jackson probably does something awesome.]
WIFE: Is that ours? Or Mom's?
[Side note: Mom lives with us]
HUSBAND: The Aviator? Not sure. Could go either way.
WIFE: So do we have to watch it?
HUSBAND: Yes.
[Silence. Robert Downey, Jr. probably says something awesome.]
HUSBAND: It's Scorcese...I remember it being long...but good.
WIFE: Yeah...but, ugh.
[Silence. Lots of awesome stuff happens, mostly involving the Hulk. Movie ends. HUSBAND and WIFE sleep.]
[Sunday morning.]
HUSBAND: So...pumped for the Aviator tonight?
WIFE: No.
HUSBAND: Me neither.
WIFE: Wanna go to Target today? We have that gift card.
[After lunch, HUSBAND and WIFE drive to Target, chilluns in tow.]
[Side note: Yes, we are Frank the Tank from Old School. This is a nice little Sunday.]
WIFE: Oh, Alien! We have Aliens, but we still need this.
HUSBAND: Yes. Yes, we do.
WIFE: It's a more of ghost story. Aliens is more of a battle.
HUSBAND: Yes. Yes, it is.
[Beat]
HUSBAND: We have a problem.
WIFE: Yes. Yes, we do.
[HUSBAND and WIFE purchase Alien and various other sundries using gift card. They return home, chilluns in tow.]
[CUT TO: That evening.]
WIFE: Let's watch Alien.
HUSBAND: Well, we just bought it, so it has to be a KEEPER, right?
WIFE: So?
[HUSBAND and WIFE watch #14: Alien. Total KEEPER. Excellent cast, great direction, relentess, tense atmosphere. HUSBAND has a tough time not thinking of this:
But still, definite KEEPER. Will be handy come Halloweentime.]
[CUT TO: Monday evening.]
HUSBAND: The Aviator?
WIFE: Ugh. I'm going to bed.
[CUT TO: Tuesday evening. Without asking first, HUSBAND puts #15: The Aviator into DVD player. Despite an excellent cameo by Rufus Wainwright, who WIFE kind of hates because of this song but HUSBAND loves in a totally straight, platonic way, WIFE falls asleep within about 15 minutes.]
[HUSBAND watches the whole thing anyway. Surprisingly engrossed by it. Leonardo DiCaprio and Cate Blanchett, particularly, provide inspired performances and the film is far deeper and more imaginative about its subject than most biopics. Especially a biopic that was clearly Oscar-bait.]
[WIFE wakes up.]
WIFE: I fell asleep.
HUSBAND: Yeah, you did.
WIFE: I was kind of into it. So?
HUSBAND: I watched the whole thing. I was surprisingly engrossed by it. Leonardo DiCaprio and Cate Blanchett, particularly, provide inspired performances and the film is far deeper and more imaginative about its subject than most biopics. Especially a biopic that was clearly Oscar-bait. I just had deja vu...Anyway, Howard Hughes was kind of amazing. He designed revolutionary planes, flew revolutionary planes, but also directed revolutionary films like Hell's Angels, and produced revolutionary films like Scarface (the original, not the Al Pacino one) and The Front Page. I can't think of a modern rich guy with such varied success. Maybe Steve Jobs with Apple and Pixar? But he didn't direct any of those movies, as far as I know.
WIFE: Yeah. I'm kinda bummed I didn't stay awake.
HUSBAND: Me too. I was surprised how much I liked re-watching it. It's a little overly long, but otherwise excellent. You should probably watch it again sometime. But you'll have to rent it. Because I don't think it makes sense to keep. I doubt we'll watch it again any time soon.
[WIFE is asleep again.]
[Side note: She's just off maternity leave and working her butt off since going back teaching and directing a show. Don't judge.]
FINAL VERDICT: PITCH IT.
NEXT UP: Batman.
[Side Note: Five Batman films coming up. Very excited.]
If you've been reading this blog (and someone is, right? right? what am I doing with my life?), well, you've probably picked up that I'm a bit of comic book nerd. I'm not the guy with a bunch of cardboard-backed first issues safely stored in his basement or who can regale you with a detailed history of the Dark Phoenix. But, I did carry a subscription to The Punisher and The Uncanny X-Men for several years in my youth. I even replaced collecting baseball cards with Marvel Universe cards in junior high. (Full disclosure: I just ordered my Spider-man obsessed daughter a subscription to the kid-friendly Spider-man book for Valentine's Day* and I'm currently wearing a Captain America t-shirt). So, you can imagine my excitement in high school when I heard an Avengers movie was coming out. That was until I saw the trailer.
What the hell? Where's Steve Rogers? Where's Tony Stark? Where's motherlovin' Bruce Banner? Why do British people ruin everything? (Aristocratic period dramas on PBS excepted, of course).
Look, my admiration for Uma Thurman will be well-documented when we eventually get to the Tarantino canon. But Emma Peele is no Black Widow.
Alas, I had to wait until the Year of Our Lord 2012 to finally see The Real Avengers together in live action. But, good goddamn, it was worth the wait.
Joss Whedon wuz robbed. I know Oscars don't usually go to the big crowd-pleasing summer pictures but The Avengers isn't your typical dumb, slobbering franchise blockbuster. Rather, The Avengers pulls together the stars of four separate existing film franchises into one masterpiece of mayhem in a way that feels, yes, organic but doesn't lose the spirit and verve you want in a Big Comic Book Movie. The feat is all the more remarkable when you consider the startlingly different tones of the prior Marvel movies featuring Iron Man (shoot 'em up action comedy), Captain America (World War II/sci-fi), Thor (classical epic), and The Incredible Hulk (moody horror/action). That Whedon is able to mix those elements together in a way that works, doesn't confuse new viewers, doesn't alienate hardcore fans, but also entertains as all hell, should have earned him a screenwriting nod at the least.
If you haven't caught up with this one yet, get a life, but also here's the story in a nutshell: Thor (Chris Hemsworth), the Norse God of Thunder, has a ne'er-do-well little brother named, Loki (Tom Hiddleston). Loki shows up on Earth to steal the Tesseract (a cosmic power source featured in both Captain America and Thor's debut films) from S.H.I.E.L.D., the covert government operation run by Samuel L. Jackson's Nick Fury. In response, Fury assembles Earth's mightiest heroes: Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Hemsworth), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), and Dr. Bruce Banner, also known as the Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo). After battling each other, the Avengers face off with Loki's alien army.
The performances are great and unselfish across the board, but Ruffalo, particularly, steals the show as the Hulk - a character that hadn't quite yet gotten its due on screen, despite two previous attempts.
Cold.
Warmer.
Bingo.
It might be that the Hulk, monosyllabic rage monster that he is, works better as a supporting character than as a lead. But Ruffalo absolutely kills it as Banner, especially when engaged in repartee with the one-liner machine that is Downey, Jr.'s "billionaire, playboy, philanthropist" Tony Stark. Also, this happens:
Can't also help but to love a movie that makes its emotional core a guy named Agent Phil Coulson.
"Yes, I'll hold while you kick that Russian dude's ass."
The Avengers is definitely the most fun I had at any movie this year (and probably in the top ten movie-going experiences I've ever had). It's a giddy Giant Slurpee of a movie. The only knock might be that it's a little too overstuffed and could've been about fifteen minutes shorter. Anyway, while The Dark Knight (which we'll get to soon, yes) is probably the best Comic Book Film of all time, I think it's safe to say this is the best Comic Book Movie of all time. Getchya popcorn ready for the all the sequels and spinoffs!
Verdict: KEEPER!
Next up: THE AVIATOR
*Fuller Disclosure: Also ordered myself a subscription to The Uncanny Avengers. Maybe I am that guy, a bit.
For all the tangible upgrades in the second Austin Powers outing (the inspired and indelible Mini-Me; Elvis Costello instead of Burt Bacharach; Rob Lowe as Robert Wagner instead of Robert Wagner as Robert Wagner) there is one serious, significant downgrade.
In the very first scene, we lose Elizabeth Hurley as the newly minted Vanessa Powers, in a totally and knowingly nonsensical plot twist, in which we discover she was a femme-bot (sadly, Basil Exposition, reports, they knew all along). The replacement Powers Girl?
While Heather Graham's Felicity Shagwell fits neatly in the dubious tradition of the utterly forgettable, less personality than a bucket of dirt, easy-on-the-eyes Bond girl, she is a poor replacement for the former Mrs. Hugh Grant, who was a capable and grounded foil for Mike Myers' loony bin performance(s). Alas, in the rush to make the second Austin Powers bigger and better and groovier than original, one of the first film's best features was unceremoniously blowed up in the first scene. Also, maybe I have a little thing for Elizabeth Hurley.
So what?
Anyway, The Spy Who Shagged Me finds Austin traveling back in time to 1969 to reclaim his mojo from Dr. Evil, whose henchman, Fat Bastard, stole it from the then-chryogenically frozen Powers. Time travel allows us to see Austin in his element, swinging '60s London, and also gives us one of the best scenes where a character acknowledges the ludicrous complications inherent in a plot involving time travel this side of Looper.
Like most comedy sequels, The Spy Who Shagged Me manages to recycle most of the best jokes from the original, including a return cameo by Will Ferrell as Mustafa, the henchman who just won't die and who can't stand being asked the same question thrice. However, unlike most comedy sequels, it also adds some instant classics.
Its sort of hard to believe that Mini-Me didn't come in until the second film, the character being such an integral part of the franchise in our collective cultural consciousness (alliteration!). That little bastard is hilarious. Unlike Fat Bastard, who grossed me out then and still does now. Now, Goldmember, that cat's a different story...
Heather Graham was so forgettable in The Spy Who Shagged Me that Meyers doesn't even bother explaining what happened to her in the third (and at this point, final) Austin Powers film, Goldmember. Instead, we get an indisputable upgrade in the form of Beyonce Knowles in her film debut as the blaxploitation-esque Foxy Cleopatra. This time, Austin travels to the '70s where he teams up with Foxy to battle Dr. Evil's plot to ransom the world at the threat of evisceration with a giant freakin' "laser" and, yes, save his father, Nigel Powers, played with aplomb by a very game, Michael Caine. Assisting in Dr. Evil's plot(s) is the usual roster of baddies, but with the terrific and aggressively weird addition of Goldmember.
Let us review. Goldmember is: (1) Dutch; (2) loves gooooooold; (3) has incredibly flexible legs; (4) enjoys "toight" bodies; (5) likes a smoke and a pancake; and (6) saves his dead skin in a case to eat later. I think a solid case can be made that Goldmember is the best of any of the characters Meyers created for the Powers franchise, if only because he is so damn bizarre and unlike anything else.
Otherwise, we get a recycling of the greatest hits of the first two films but with some new classics as well. Fred Savage as No. 3, particularily, gets a few great moments.
Don't say mole. I said mole.
At the end of the day, Goldmember is a fitting final installment of the franchise, with the daddy-wasn't-there subplot turning in to the big reveal that Austin and Dr. Evil are (gasp! shock! horror!) brothers. However, we do get Scotty Evil in his daddy-wasn't-there's chair at the end, howling with laughter at the thought of revenge on the Powers' clan, and there's supposedly a deal for a fourth Powers film...so we might be seeing the whole gang again soon. Yay?
Final verdict: This sort of pains me, because I do think these movies are funny. Or were funny. At some point, the memory of them became funnier than the movies themselves and we just don't think we need them anymore. Someday, I'm sure we'll get a hankerin' for an Austin Powers fix. But, for now, we're PITCHING them all.
Doing a movie that pokes fun at the past (especially movies from the past) is tricky business, because you're running the risk of looking a wee bit out of date yourself someday.
Such is the case with our tenth film (yes 10 already! and still in the A's!), Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Here are just a few examples of stuff that Austin Powers encounters in the Brave New World of 1997 America, having been unfrozen from a thirty year's sleep:
1. Air Jordans.
2. A Casio QWERTY keyboard flip-phone.
3. Scott's Kurt Cobain t-shirt.
4. A VHS tape.
5. AOL - which is used to view a slowly buffering video e-mail!
All of the above places this movie in the 1990's, just as firmly as Austin Powers is stuck in the 1960's. But does it hold up?
Yes and no. The jokes are as funny as they were before you ran into this joker at a terrible Halloween party, where he killed them all mercilessly by repeating them ad nauseum:
It's hard to just enjoy the movie, when all you can think of is this guy.
That being said, it's pretty great that Mike Meyers somehow convinced people to make a spoof of 60's spy movies in 1997, long after anyone cared about 60's spy movies. There's also a ton of great stuff in this movie that's easy to forget. Such as, Will Ferrell's hilarious cameo as Mustafa, the mechanical wizard henchman who just won't die (this was back when he was just a bit player on SNL). Lest we forget Carrie Fisher as the put-upon therapist and Tom Arnold as a porcelain-lovin' Texan. I also feel the need to give a shout to Larry Thomas, who does great work as the casino dealer but was even better as this:
I always thought that dude was the Soup Nazi. So glad I finally looked it up!
All in all, I still laughed occasionally, Amelia laughed rarely, and we're ambivalent about keeping it though we're agreed it is funny. We're putting the final decision off until we watch both sequels (our next two installments), to avoid the risk of subjecting ourselves to an incomplete pantheon of this:
I'm not really sure what to say about our ninth film, except that if you don't love it, you should just go ahead and move to Syria, because you obviously hate America.
Hey, this movie is about Papa Burgundy. Man's man, lover of scotch, poetry, jazz flute, and
of course, his dear friend Baxter.
For those of you who have somehow avoided all joy in the life, here's the basic plot: Will Ferrell is Burgundy, the titular anchorman of the top rated news program in late 70's San Diego (or, in the original German, Waldie Vagina). His all-star news team is rounded out by: investigate reporter and ladies' man, Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd); Stetson-loving sports reporter, Champ "Whammy" Kind (David Koechner); and the intellectually challenged weather man, Brick Tamland (Steve Carrell). Their world is upended when Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate*) gets hired to increase diversity (which is not an old, old wooden ship) at the station. In short order, there is an anchorlady, and the Channel 5 News Team doesn't quite know how to handle it. (*It's pretty remarkable that the bulk of the Married With Children cast is still in the public eye. Applegate has done a slew of great work lately, including this, although Up All Night has really lost its way, if it had a way to lose. Katey Sagal is on the best soap opera on TV, Sons of Anarchy. Ed O'Neill is on Modern Family, of course. And David Faustino provided a voice for an unaired cartoon show called SuperF*ckers, also featuring Jaleel White (Urkel). So, yeah, he's doing just fine for himself too, thank you.) Look, if you aren't quoting this movie to your friends, they're quoting it to you, or you have no friends and should move to Syria because you hate America. Stop hating America. Watch this movie, or this will happen to you:
