We qualify as both.
#66: The Rock
The Rock stands for everything we hate about modern Hollywood action: gleefully illogical plotting; one-note/full-volume characterization; melodramatic nationalism; shameless product placement; and frenetic close ups as far as the eye can see. Throw in a few more lens flares and you have a recipe for ReViewing Habit hater-ade.
But, goddamn it, The Rock works.
No, we don't believe for a single second that Ed Harris and David Morse could so easily swindle a rare deadly gas, arm rockets, and take over Alcatraz. (By the way, you should totally check out the Alcatraz tour if you're ever in San Francisco, it's really cool. Even without Nicolas Cage. Though adding Cage to the cages [groan!] would be a coupe de grace.)
No, I don't buy that the lowly FBI bomb detonator played by Cage (with the uber-ridiculous handle of Stanley Goodspeed) would be sent into such a dangerous mission with hardly any real field training.
Moreover, would the real Michael Biehn (Commander Anderson), were he in charge of such a mission, allow a liability like Goodspeed to come along? No way. Amiright, sexy '80's Michael Biehn?
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| Yes. Yes, you are. |
On the other hand, we totally buy that an aging and likely entropied British spy (Sean Connery) would not only have the werewithal to break back into Alcatraz and kick Army dude ass after 30 years behind bars, but also ESCAPE his FBI entourage and steal (and namecheck!) a Humvee. Yes, a HUMVEE! HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT A HUMVEE IS? HE WAS IN JAIL SINCE THE SIXTIES! HUMVEES WEREN'T A THING UNTIL THE 80'S! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!
That "what on earth is happening?" vibe - epitomized, of course, by a trademark gooftactular Cage perfomance - is what makes it all work. The Rock is so breathless in its craziness, you can't help but get caught up.
But maybe we're weak...we do have a soft spot for the Cage.
FINAL VERDICT: KEEPER
NEXT UP: THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS
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