So what do you do when you start a blog out of some half-cocked NYE resolution, post with a furious clip to begin, and then slowly peter out; falling totally silent for over 6 months? Like every other resolution, you adhere to Einstein's theory of insanity and make the same resolution and try again!
So, let's try this stupid, time-wasting idea again...but, in the spirit of the season, let's ditch our alphabetical order convention and recap all of the holiday movies we've watched since Turkey Day:
Threw you a curve ball out of the gate, eh? Well, we watch this movie every Thanksgiving. Mainly because Garrett Hedlund bastes a mean bird:
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| (I had hoped to find a Turkey Cup gif, but this is even better) |
Four Brothers has a number of things going for it: Mark Wahlberg at his Marky Mark Wahlbergiest (arrogant + hothead + secretly stand-up guy + penchant for one-liners) (see also: Three Kings, I Heart Huckabees, The Departed, The Other Guys); DETROIT; Andre3000 as the sane, responsible brother; that dude from Sports Night; pre-Hustle & Flow Terrance Howard; DETROIT; Ben Wallace references; "Y'all better run, these white cops is crazy!"; DETROIT; quietly pro-labor messaging; pre-Modern Family Sofia Vergara; and Turkey Cup!
The premise of the movie is so solid, it had to be greenlit the second it was pitched. A saintly woman (Fionnula Flanagan) adopts four ne'er-do-wells* (two white, two black), and raises them as her own. After she is murdered in a seemingly routine (DETROIT) convenience store stick-up, the Four Brothers return to the Motor City for the funeral. And, of course, revenge (and hockey). Playing with 70's blaxploitation and revenge film conventions, John Singleton's direction strikes the perfect tone; layering a dense (yet followable) mystery on top of the action with a liberal sprinkling of just "hanging out" with the dysfunctional brothers. Like Rio Bravo or Reservoir Dogs, soaking in the dynamic chemistry of the cast talking shit to each other is more than half the fun. Plus, it takes place around Thanksgiving, giving us an excuse to turn it on while the turkey is digested.
An endlessly watchable movie. One of those, "don't change the channel" flicks that you watch from wherever it is whenever it is on TV. (WHICH IT IS RIGHT NOW! SYNCHRONICITY!)
FINAL VERDICT: KEEPER
Yes, our list of Thanksgiving movies is shamefully short. (BUY US PLANES, TRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES). So, we soldier on into Xmas territory. Elf is just a perfect marriage of performer to material because no one makes sweet innocence as funny as Will Ferrell. It's also one of the few Christmas movies that manages the trick of being as entertaining to Mom and Dad (i.e., old people) as to the kids (i.e., happy people) and treads the fine line of keeping the wonder of Santa Claus while winking at the ridiculousness of it all.
Also, Francisco, that's fun to say.
FINAL VERDICT: FRANCISCO KEEPER
Dear Kevin McAllister,
Given the suburban Chicago mansion you are so fortunate as to be raised in, I would expect your parents have fairly comprehensive homeowner's insurance which would cover any loss incurred in a small-time burglary by the so-called Wet Bandits. (Granted, your parents aren't quite lighting up the Mensa test, what with not realizing you're missing until they arrive in Paris, France, for chrissake, so they may have missed their premiums). I doubt, however, their insurance coverage would extend to the self-inflicted damage you wrought on the house (let alone the injuries inflicted upon the poor shlubs played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern, which would almost certainly result in permanent disfigurement). Accordingly, just go to a friend's house and let them rob the place.
By the way, if you had the wherewithal and common sense to go to the store to purchase milk, army men, and fabric softener, couldn't you have asked to use the phone? Or, better yet, buy a phone card to call YOUR FAMILY WHO MUST BE WORRIED SICK IN PARIS?
Also, that Mac and Cheese you made looked really delicious - why didn't you eat any of it? That really bothers Ms. ReViewing Habit, who is a master of Kraftian delight.
Despite your poor choices, we must thank you for all the laughs and the memories.
Best,
ReViewing Habit
FINAL VERDICT: KEEPER
If this film doesn't melt you into an irreducible puddle of emotion, I envy you your resolve. But go see a therapist.
Poorly received when released, It's a Wonderful Life eventually became an undisputed Christmas classic (if not, the Christmas classic) (largely due to the quirks of copyright law). So much so that it's easy to overlook what a strange movie it is tonally and conceptually. Suffice to say, I doubt this movie would be made today. Pitch: Dude lives ordinary life, fails, and contemplates suicide. Then, an angel convinces him not to do it. Sure, $100 million budget is in the cards!
Everyone's seen this movie, right? There's no need to explain that Donna Reed is perfect? That Jimmy Stewart is film acting at its finest? Everyone understands its singular achievement in capturing how a lifetime of compromise and disappointment is an actual, realized life - one full of hope, possibility, joy, and meaning, right? I mean, you can see that all here, in the greatest moment of discovery (to use a BFA, Acting term) ever captured on film:
I'm sorry, I inexhaustably love this movie and all it represents. It has forever warped me into an unabashed romantic idealist and I'm all the better for it. Would that we all lived in Frank Capra's America and George Bailey's Bedford Falls.
FINAL VERDICT: KEEPER! (Hot dog!)
So, for whatever reason, many words were spilled about this movie on the interwebs this year. (See Christopher Orr's massive piece from The Atlantic, responding to criticism of his piece bashing the movie and linking to said criticism). We've had this movie for a few years, though I personally had never seen it.
Watching the movie for the first time, I didn't have the visceral reaction of love or hatred that it seems to invoke in others. It's a romantic comedy and like most of those, I could take it or leave it. Like most rom-coms, it has its moments that giddily sweep you away (i.e., the All You Need is Love wedding scene and that cute li'l bastard dashing through airport security) and its total clunkers (i.e., Liam Neeson trying to be funny, generally).
However, there was serious and vehement debate in the ReViewing Habit homestead over whether secretly kissing your husband's best friend after he confesses his undying love for you constitutes "cheating" or not. I will not betray our positions here (we keep our disagreements private), but I will say that a watchful eye is now kept on Ms. ReViewing Habit in mixed company.
FINAL VERDICT: KEEPER (though one of us really doesn't care for Rick from The Walking Dead anymore)
No Christmas movie bingeing would be complete without Die Hard, the best non-Christmas Christmas movie ever made. While it probably ruined action movies forever (we are still seeing the wisecracking loner stuck in impossible situation scenario played out over and over) and its sequels (with the lone exception of the estimable Die Hard With a Vengeance) have somewhat diminished its legacy, Die Hard is just great, simple, brutal action with Bruce Willis at peak Bruce Willis (John McClain as vulnerable everyman, as opposed to John McClain as unstoppable superhuman).
Again, a movie everyone has seen and no need to retread.
FINAL VERDICT: YIPPEE-KY-KEEPER.
Another non-Christmas Christmas movie. (It barely qualifies, the opening flashback sequence takes place on Christmas Eve). This is one of those movies that certain people love and everyone else has never even heard of it.
Which is crazy because the cast is insane: Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, Ben Kingsley, President Roslin (aka Mary McDonnell), David Straithairn, Dan Aykroyd, and the movie-star-that-should-have-been River Phoenix. Not to mention terrific cameos by Donal Logue (more Terriers, please), Stephen Toblowosky, and James Earl Jones.
The plot (for those of you who didn't have a killer Sneakers t-shirt as a kid, like your esteemed author): Redford leads a band of ne'er-do-wells who are hired to break into businesses to expose weaknesses in security systems. The sneakers get hired by the NSA (timely!) to steal a black box codebreaker invented by Logue. OR IS IT THE NSA?
There are too many secrets to unpack here (see what I did there, Sneakers fans?), but the labyrinthine plot unfolds in highly entertaining fashion as we hang out with the team. Like Four Brothers, watching the cast BS each other is 95% of the fun. Funny, light, quick mystery which is endlessly rewatchable. To boot, it provides a reason to watch it every December (kind of)!
FINAL VERDICT: REEK PE
NEXT UP: Non-holiday fare
Which is crazy because the cast is insane: Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, Ben Kingsley, President Roslin (aka Mary McDonnell), David Straithairn, Dan Aykroyd, and the movie-star-that-should-have-been River Phoenix. Not to mention terrific cameos by Donal Logue (more Terriers, please), Stephen Toblowosky, and James Earl Jones.
The plot (for those of you who didn't have a killer Sneakers t-shirt as a kid, like your esteemed author): Redford leads a band of ne'er-do-wells who are hired to break into businesses to expose weaknesses in security systems. The sneakers get hired by the NSA (timely!) to steal a black box codebreaker invented by Logue. OR IS IT THE NSA?
There are too many secrets to unpack here (see what I did there, Sneakers fans?), but the labyrinthine plot unfolds in highly entertaining fashion as we hang out with the team. Like Four Brothers, watching the cast BS each other is 95% of the fun. Funny, light, quick mystery which is endlessly rewatchable. To boot, it provides a reason to watch it every December (kind of)!
FINAL VERDICT: REEK PE
NEXT UP: Non-holiday fare
*A shamefully underutilized word.
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