WIFE: The Avengers! Yes.
HUSBAND: Yeah.
WIFE: What's after this?
HUSBAND: The Aviator.
WIFE: Ugh.
[Silence. Samuel L. Jackson probably does something awesome.]
WIFE: Is that ours? Or Mom's?
[Side note: Mom lives with us]
HUSBAND: The Aviator? Not sure. Could go either way.
WIFE: So do we have to watch it?
HUSBAND: Yes.
[Silence. Robert Downey, Jr. probably says something awesome.]
HUSBAND: It's Scorcese...I remember it being long...but good.
WIFE: Yeah...but, ugh.
[Silence. Lots of awesome stuff happens, mostly involving the Hulk. Movie ends. HUSBAND and WIFE sleep.]
[Sunday morning.]
HUSBAND: So...pumped for the Aviator tonight?
WIFE: No.
HUSBAND: Me neither.
WIFE: Wanna go to Target today? We have that gift card.
[After lunch, HUSBAND and WIFE drive to Target, chilluns in tow.]
[Side note: Yes, we are Frank the Tank from Old School. This is a nice little Sunday.]
WIFE: Oh, Alien! We have Aliens, but we still need this.
HUSBAND: Yes. Yes, we do.
WIFE: It's a more of ghost story. Aliens is more of a battle.
HUSBAND: Yes. Yes, it is.
[Beat]
HUSBAND: We have a problem.
WIFE: Yes. Yes, we do.
[HUSBAND and WIFE purchase Alien and various other sundries using gift card. They return home, chilluns in tow.]
[CUT TO: That evening.]
WIFE: Let's watch Alien.
HUSBAND: Well, we just bought it, so it has to be a KEEPER, right?
WIFE: So?
[HUSBAND and WIFE watch #14: Alien. Total KEEPER. Excellent cast, great direction, relentess, tense atmosphere. HUSBAND has a tough time not thinking of this:
But still, definite KEEPER. Will be handy come Halloweentime.]
[CUT TO: Monday evening.]
HUSBAND: The Aviator?
WIFE: Ugh. I'm going to bed.
[CUT TO: Tuesday evening. Without asking first, HUSBAND puts #15: The Aviator into DVD player. Despite an excellent cameo by Rufus Wainwright, who WIFE kind of hates because of this song but HUSBAND loves in a totally straight, platonic way, WIFE falls asleep within about 15 minutes.]
[HUSBAND watches the whole thing anyway. Surprisingly engrossed by it. Leonardo DiCaprio and Cate Blanchett, particularly, provide inspired performances and the film is far deeper and more imaginative about its subject than most biopics. Especially a biopic that was clearly Oscar-bait.]
[WIFE wakes up.]
WIFE: I fell asleep.
HUSBAND: Yeah, you did.
WIFE: I was kind of into it. So?
HUSBAND: I watched the whole thing. I was surprisingly engrossed by it. Leonardo DiCaprio and Cate Blanchett, particularly, provide inspired performances and the film is far deeper and more imaginative about its subject than most biopics. Especially a biopic that was clearly Oscar-bait. I just had deja vu...Anyway, Howard Hughes was kind of amazing. He designed revolutionary planes, flew revolutionary planes, but also directed revolutionary films like Hell's Angels, and produced revolutionary films like Scarface (the original, not the Al Pacino one) and The Front Page. I can't think of a modern rich guy with such varied success. Maybe Steve Jobs with Apple and Pixar? But he didn't direct any of those movies, as far as I know.
WIFE: Yeah. I'm kinda bummed I didn't stay awake.
HUSBAND: Me too. I was surprised how much I liked re-watching it. It's a little overly long, but otherwise excellent. You should probably watch it again sometime. But you'll have to rent it. Because I don't think it makes sense to keep. I doubt we'll watch it again any time soon.
[WIFE is asleep again.]
[Side note: She's just off maternity leave and working her butt off since going back teaching and directing a show. Don't judge.]
FINAL VERDICT: PITCH IT.
NEXT UP: Batman.
[Side Note: Five Batman films coming up. Very excited.]
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